Lost and Found
by ButterflyMay
Summary: A manga project makes Onodera think about 'First Love' and it does not help much when his 'first love' is his 'Current Love', and it really messes him up when his love keeps asking him about it. What was Lost is Found again and Onodera wonders if it is worth it.


**Lost and Found**

_PART 1 : Jaded  
_

They say that you can never forget your first love. First Love either shapes your life into something better if it stays with you but first love will destroy your heart into pieces if it leaves you, into so many pieces that you will never be able to mend it back together. The pieces go too far away to collect and at the end of your life you find yourself with an incomplete heart. Something missing, something lost, a person who makes your heart skip a beat for the first time, a person who paints your world with the color of 'Love' for the first time, a person who teaches you to think of yourself as someone special and important and a person who you think is everything to you for the first time…

So I considered myself lucky when I thought the one I liked for the first time liked me back too. And being the naive kid I was, my 'like' was more 'in love head over heels' and I was overjoyed when Sempai held me. But my fear of getting hurt took over my adolescent heart so much that the risk of pursuing what we had once defeated my urges of loving Sempai. Now when I think of it I cannot remember most of it.

'OW stop spacing out!' A book hits my head and my thoughts scatters with the sharp pain.

I turn around glaring at the menace; my glare fades a little when I see two eyes ogle at me intently from behind spectacles. I narrow my eyes and focus my mind at reading the manga at hand.

'I am not spacing out! I am doing my work!' I scream at Takano-san, cursing the man for noticing my little mental break. But I cannot help it, this manga is all about Love, to be specific first love and the author describes how significant it is all throughout the story.

I crinkle my nose when I see a cover full of pink flower and red hearts and the golden title 'First Love is the Best!'

'Richan you are reading a super lovey-dovey manga, so smile while you read it!' Kisa-san points out while shinning like a diamond, it is the start of the cycle so everyone seems to be like princes.

'umm I am finding it hard to comprehend why there are so many blank panels and huge amount of toners, I mean isn't it excessive?'

I feel a burning sensation on me, thousands of heated daggers shooting at me. A shadow looms over me and I see Kisa-san smiling nervously.

A pair of large hands grabs my head and Takano-san face appears beside mine, a scary aura surrounding the area.

'Are you stupid?'

'umm eh..'

'Blank panels? Toners? Those are the crucial attractions of a shoujo manga, and to describe the throbbing thrill of first love Sensei has stressed that much of shades all over! The empty panels are for the readers to fill the void with their feelings! I thought by now you are suited to the decorum of a shoujo love scene you idiot!'

I get irritated at my superior's verbal beating so I blurt out angrily.

'I am getting the hang of it! It is not like I can't understand it I do! But it is ultimately about 'Love' she is talking about, why she emphasizes so much on 'First Love?' It is all-'

As my eyes meets Takano-san I realize what we are talking about, my eyes widen and my heart pumps faster when I regret my slip of tongue. I am digging up a ten year old unresolved matter of us in public; before I dig up more dirt of my past I must leave, clear my head.

'Excuse me'

I whisper and run out of the room. I can feel Takano-san' eyes glued to me yet I dismiss all and hurry out of there before a steam blows out of my little head.

Getting myself a canned drink I rest my head on the cold can. I close my eyes and try to calm my heart. But I am failing, Saga-senpai keeps popping in my head. To understand this manga and be the author's editor I need to delve deeper into the content, I need to feel the plot like I am a part of it. And to do that I need to realize how important first love is to the character and how intensely the character really feels it, but it just messes up my head. Love itself is a complicated topic in my life and my first love-

'Onodera'

-is calling my name. All the hairs on my nape jumps at his voice and at my thought. 'first love is calling my name'. I look at Takano-san and catch my tongue from shouting 'AM I OUT OF MY MIND?'

'Oi Onodera'

'huh YES!' I shout shaking my head.

'What is going on in that little head of yours?'

Folding his arms over his torso Takano-san stares at me, and I try my best to form a coherent sentence.

'ahh umm I ..I um.'

His stare thickens and he raises his right hand to stroke my head. Before he does so I step back.

'Nothing I am just taking a break, How am I supposed to complete three volumes of a manga in an hour?'

Retreating his hand, Takano-san sighs.

'We have thirty minutes left. Finish it soon then we will go out to meet the mangaka.'

I feel relieved as my boss leaves. I need to toughen myself and do my work properly. I shouldn't link my personal life with my professional life, I must control myself from thinking too much about Saga-Senpai.

As I walk towards the office, I wonder 'which one gives more happiness? Having your first love be with you forever or losing your first love once and then get him back again?'

After struggling for thirty minutes I finally accomplish finishing all the volumes. The moment I lean back on the chair stretching my back, I hear Takano-san say.

'Onodera let's go.'

Getting all the important documents, I rush with him to meet the author.

After two hours of detailed discussions, Takano-san and I step out of the meeting place in the restaurant. It is dark by now, the street lights are glowing brightly and the city is full with the humming of the busy people.

'We need to inform the others about Sensei's preferences, let's ahead to the office.' Takano-san motions me to walk with him.

'There is a short route, it only takes fifteen minutes, come with me.' He orders while crossing the road

'So are you going to tell me now?' Takano-san questions me taking a quick turn into a dark alley.

'Tell you what?' I follow him, averting my eyes.

'What was bugging you so much? You looked like you were about to cry in the morning.'

'WHAT! Stop imagining things.'

'First Love, does it make you emotional?'

Takano–san whispers into my ear. I look straight to the way ahead and fasten my pace. It is coming - the danger and the embarrassment.

'It is getting late, walk faster.'

I find myself almost running. All I can hear are the footsteps behind me and the fluttering of the incest's around the neon street lights. The street is deserted which is making me exceedingly nervous.

'Onodera wait up!'

Takano-san catches my hand and pulls me.

'Oi what are you-'

I find myself pinned against the roadside wall. Takano-san is not clearly visible in the dark so I blink my eyes. Takano-san moves closer to me and I cannot see his face. His back is towards the light so he can see my face clearly while I cannot see his emotions, he gets on my nerve. I will not let him toy with me.

'RItsu, who is your first love?'

That is it. I will not let him make fun of me again.

'BAKA!'

I scream pushing him aside. Gripping the documents tighter I continue walking again. After hearing no footsteps I turn around to see Takano-san standing alone under the pale light. I can see his face now, and my heart feels a stabbing pain at his hurt face. His eyes are so dark and his lips are frowning.

'_Did I hurt him..?'_

I ask myself. My mind goes blank and I think of going back to him and apologizing. So I stop in my track and rush to him.

'eh no I didn't mean to be so blatant, er but –'

My mind ponders about the appropriate words but Takano-san's phone cuts us off.

'Hello?'

Takano-san speaks looking away from me.

'Yes we are on our way, we will be there in five minutes.'

Takano-san's voice shows no weakness but I cannot make myself look into his eyes after he just avoided me.

Without saying a word he starts rushing towards the Marukawa building. Talking a gulp, I follow him.

Why is it like this always? Why do I always feel bad after doing stuffs like that?

Why does Takano-san has to make such a sad face?

Why does 'First Love' again gets me all jaded?

TO BE CONTINUED….


End file.
